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Absolutely hillarious money one-liners! A few one-liner casino jokes that are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face: With gamblers, his money are soon parted. The affable comedian from the North.

One of the little six year old boys raises his hand , says he has to use the. A page for describing Characters: Latest breaking news, celebrity. I know you don't approve of my gambling, but this once,. There is a common misconception that corny jokes are just for kids, but the truth is that there are many adults who like them too.

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Check out some of the best Horse Jokes ever published. I came home from the pub four hours late last night. During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right? The bartender thought about it. So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals.

After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place.

He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whisky bottle. The bartender was ecstatic. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh! Liked these gambling jokes? Then share them with everyone you know.

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The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right? The bartender thought about it. So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar.

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whisky bottle. The bartender was ecstatic. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!

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Their paradise pair-o-dice was taken away from them! What does a BlackJack player eat for dinner? Whatever his comp card allows him to. Whats the difference between poker players and politicans? Politicans tell the truth. Whats the difference between online poker and live poker? You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you.

What's the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years, the dog quits whining. What did a blonde from England bring a bag of french fries to a poker game? Someone told her to bring her own chips.

What card game do lesbians play? What do vampires play poker for? What's the hardest thing about play mini baccarat? Telling your parents your gay! How do you get a professional poker player off your front porch? Pay him for the Pizza. One Liners Love is gambling, not with money but with your heart. You can always get money back, but you might not get your heart back.

If it weren't for the drug use, degenerate gambling, and drinking I would be a great catch. Chuck-E-Cheese, because it's never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling I can support my gambling habit without a job, but I want one so I can support it even more. Girls are like blackjack, I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

More like Viva Lost Wages! My cat quit playing poker with the big cats at the zoo If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you. Gambling Quotes Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

Steven Wright Poker is like sex - everyone thinks they're the best, but most people don't have a clue what they're doing. Dutch Boyd If you're playing a poker game and look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you Paul Newman.

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What kind of shark is always gambling? What do craps dealers eat for dessert? How's a casino like a good woman? Liquor in the front, poker in the back! What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it! How do you get a professional poker player off your front porch? Pay him for the Pizza Q: What does a BlackJack player eat for dinner?

Why are cigarettes like Pikeys? There are a series of ugh at really funny corny jokes. What did the dealer say to the deck of cards? I never expected to find myself with a de-faced, after a particularly ambitious installment.

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They smell to high heaven, are barred out of every pub in England. Girls are like blackjack, I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. More like Viva Lost Wages! My cat quit playing poker with the big cats at the zoo If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you. Gambling Quotes Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards.

I got a full house and four people died. Steven Wright Poker is like sex - everyone thinks they're the best, but most people don't have a clue what they're doing. Dutch Boyd If you're playing a poker game and look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you Paul Newman.

When a man with money meets a man with experience, the man with experience leaves with money and the man with money leaves with experience. ME Trust everyone, but always cut the cards. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation. The first guy says "I don't think I'll ever do that again! I just won a million dollar slot machine jackpot!

Just so long as you're out of the house by noon! One night she decided to try not to wake him. She undressed in the living room and, put her purse over her shoulder, and tiptoed nude into the bedroom, but was surprised to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. Upon taking a closer look he sees a dog sitting at the table. This peaks his curiousity and he walks closer and sees cards and chips in front of the dog. Then the next hand is dealt and cards are dealt to the dog.

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Whats the difference between online poker and live poker? He aint playin the cards I dealt him! In fact this must be the third time today that I have stood up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand. Last but not least we also perform a background check on the company, where it's registered and who's behind it and if they are publicly traded or not. One important criteria is the license of the casino or online gambling site as we only review licensed casinos.

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